Post by sirsparhawk on Jul 17, 2008 18:19:38 GMT -5
I had given up all hope till now. All that I had been was a shell to this day going through the motions that some said had made me so great. It was like the grip of a serpent coiling down upon me each day as I lived not know what had happened to a woman that I had cared for so much.Last night I reilized I still do. In many ways it is hard for me to let go from this enevitablitly that I must go through life alone all the time spent telling myself that I should let no one in again.
Created chaos withing me as I went to the stables last night. She was there having been bitten by a snake whos poision needed treated I did treat it and the fever as well and sitting there on the edge of the bed brought memories I had tried so hard to bury behind walls so thick that dragons could not crush them broke though. I yearned to be there with her to hold her longer to smell the sweet scent of her hair. She asked me to stay when the fever broke asked be to be there with her. It was just the fever it had to be just the fever. After the hells that I must have put that woman though her never knowing if I would return to her the next night or come back from my patrol come mornings light. Why would she want me there?
I left a missive with the head healer before sunrise. I figured I had over extended my stay perhaps it was better that I leave I told myself. Perhaps it was best if she did not relize it was me. I had to know though I had to be sure. For there was a time I was happy. I now know that is was when I was with her. Lady Silvereagle Mi Cherrie Amour. I now understand true pain it is not one that cuts or leaves a scar visible to the world this was a pain I had caused my very self when I left her so long ago telling myself it was for her protection her best intrest.
It was that letter that threatened her life if I had not go to that trap. It was the things that I had been the things that I told my self I had to do to protect her that had lost her all together. I searched for months for her when the stable was empty I searched every corner of the world I knew searching for her praying that she was somewhere perhaps hiding. I was wrong then. An what about now part of me says I should ride back ride hard and pray her words were more then just the fever that had taken her more then just the remembrances of a time past. Alas Perhaps I will never know.
Created chaos withing me as I went to the stables last night. She was there having been bitten by a snake whos poision needed treated I did treat it and the fever as well and sitting there on the edge of the bed brought memories I had tried so hard to bury behind walls so thick that dragons could not crush them broke though. I yearned to be there with her to hold her longer to smell the sweet scent of her hair. She asked me to stay when the fever broke asked be to be there with her. It was just the fever it had to be just the fever. After the hells that I must have put that woman though her never knowing if I would return to her the next night or come back from my patrol come mornings light. Why would she want me there?
I left a missive with the head healer before sunrise. I figured I had over extended my stay perhaps it was better that I leave I told myself. Perhaps it was best if she did not relize it was me. I had to know though I had to be sure. For there was a time I was happy. I now know that is was when I was with her. Lady Silvereagle Mi Cherrie Amour. I now understand true pain it is not one that cuts or leaves a scar visible to the world this was a pain I had caused my very self when I left her so long ago telling myself it was for her protection her best intrest.
It was that letter that threatened her life if I had not go to that trap. It was the things that I had been the things that I told my self I had to do to protect her that had lost her all together. I searched for months for her when the stable was empty I searched every corner of the world I knew searching for her praying that she was somewhere perhaps hiding. I was wrong then. An what about now part of me says I should ride back ride hard and pray her words were more then just the fever that had taken her more then just the remembrances of a time past. Alas Perhaps I will never know.